Coming out is never an easy thing to do. No matter how open your family, friends or community are, there is always that fear of how people will react and how you will be looked at after you announce this new reality in your life. Everyone tends to have their coming-out story about how people react. Luckily in the modern world, many of these stories are now positive as the world becomes a little more accepting of people who are different. Here is one of our favorite coming out stories.
For the sake of this girl’s privacy, we will call her Nancy, but Nancy is not her real name. Nancy was part of a very open family. When she came out everyone was accepting and happy that she was living her life the way she wanted to. Her friends and community were the same. In a word, everyone was supportive. However, Nancy had one grandparent that was quite elderly and not as open to change as the rest of her family. She had been through a lot in her many years and everyone in Nancy’s family felt it was better not to tell her the news.
Nancy’s grandmother was old and she would pass away soon. It may be better to let her die in peace than have her stressed out by (what she may perceive as) her granddaughter committing an immortal sin. The idea was based on some good reasoning too. Whenever the topic of gay people had come up, Nancy’s grandmother had never seem pleased. If a gay person was overtly open about it on television the elderly lady would sometimes pass comments about how they should be more respectful. With that in mind, it was agreed, Nancy would keep her love of women to herself.
While Nancy didn’t want to cause any anxiety to her grandmother, she didn’t like lying to her either. Yet she knew that it may just cause stress with no reward at the end. She went along with the lie quite happily and instead of talking about lovers would talk about great friends. One night Nancy and her grandmother were sitting on the porch and Nancy started to ask about her late grandfather and how he had wooed her grandmother. In her mind, she was actually thinking about a woman who was wooing her at that very moment. Fondly thinking of a woman that she was falling in love with made her want to hear more about successful romances and how they began.
When Nancy’s grandmother finished telling her story she told Nancy that she should try and find someone as caring as her grandfather to take care of her, to meet the family and to cherish for many years. Without thinking, Nancy blurted out four words, “I think I have”. Nancy’s grandmother was delighted and of course, wanted to hear more about this incredible man. She asked as any caring granny would, “Is he a nice boy?”
Nancy was happy to not reveal her sexual orientation to her grandmother but she could never lie about it. It is one thing to not mention your preferences but it is another thing entirely to falsely say you like one thing when you don’t. She decided in that instant to come clean and told her grandmother how the person she was dating was very nice but not a boy at all, it was a woman. Nancy’s grandmother smiled a warm and nourishing smile that only grandmother’s know how to do. She simply said, “Then I can’t wait to meet her”. Since that day Nancy’s grandmother has been her greatest ally. If anyone makes a gay joke on family occasions Nancy’s granny is the first to ask people to stop. Whatever thoughts she had in her conservative mind were cast aside when it came to her feelings for her family. In the end, all that matters is that you love and are loved.