Depending on your love life to date you likely have some opinions already formed on what a connection with another person is like. If you have watched a bunch of romantic movies in the past then you probably believe in serendipity and soulmates, that there is a magical force out there that will bring you to the one person in the world you are meant to be with. If you have been on a bunch of terrible dates then you likely believe the world is simply full of annoying people and that no one out there is right for you. These are two extremes and we all lie somewhere in between. So who is right? Do soulmates exist? How do we find a perfect match?
A recent study indicated that the majority of people found their last date online. This is changing how we interact in the dating world. It has become more formulaic thanks to social dating apps and that means it is harder to find someone that you have a connection with. All conversations on Tinder start the same and one of those people could be the great guy or girl that you are looking for. We tend to ignore those people who start conversations in the same way as everyone else but what if your Mr or Mrs perfect just happens to start conversations that way? It is tough to judge when we know so little.
So we usually continue to talk to people online a little to try and establish what they are looking for, the things they like to do, and if they are compatible. If they tick enough boxes we organize a date. A chance to get to know them for real. Yet the formula usually continues and first dates have a habit of all appearing the same. If you have been on one too many you may notice you are telling the same stories and getting the same reactions. While someone laughing at your story was amazing the first time, now it isn’t a surprise, you don’t rate their reactions as highly anymore.
Some experts say that we shouldn’t pay too much attention to the conversation topics or the things we have in common, this isn’t a job interview. Instead, we should pay attention to one thing and one thing only, chemistry. The experts say that you may be able to tell in the first minute if you have chemistry with someone.
The best way to tell is based on how you are feeling. Are you making eye contact, smiling, hanging off each other’s words. If you feel that there is a connection there then this is usually the most powerful sign that this person would be a good match for you. When you think about the perfect couple it is nice if they have similar interests but not essential. What is most important is that they like to be around each other and chemistry is a key indicator of this.
As you start to date that someone, ask yourself if you feel comfortable around them. Are you showing them your true self and is your normal state when they are around happy and relaxed? If it is they are great for you if it is not then you need to ask yourself how long you can act in this way? Another great indicator is if that special someone pushes you in life. If they are trying to get you to be your best self then they are a great match, if they are being negative or putting you down then you have to question if they really want the best for you at all.
Finding love is never easy and that is why there are so many movies and books that make a big deal about it, but it can be found. Don’t give up hope if you haven’t found that special someone yet but don’t think it will follow the script of a rom-com either. The modern dating world is a little colder than Cinderella faced with her glass slipper. Embrace it and start looking for signs that you are talking to someone special.